News From the Hobbits of the Shire - We Was Robbed Ref!

By Allan Meikle

In the same way that we all intrinsically know a brick can hang, nay, float in the air unaided, the Hobbits fans went to watch tonight’s game with that same knowledge that it will, it must happen someday!

How fickle is the game of football we love so, so much but torments us at every opportunity!

“We was robbed ref!” “We was robbed!”

A close game indeed tonight between the Mighty Orange - Guantanamo all stars and the sturdy boys from the Shire which saw a 7 – 6 defeat that was an actual victory for the Hobbits.

‘It’s a funny old game’ and “a game of two halves. There was the first half, then the second”……and many other clichés were bandied about during and more particularly after the game tonight.

The one that stands out is “how one man can make a team’…now many may think this refers to “twinkle toes’ ‘Paper Doyley’ and it is true that his return from a drinking binge in South America (evident by the very noticeable beer belly) (like a piece of string with a knot in it, some were heard to say ) did make a huge difference as his twinkle toes were there for all to see but no, this refers to James “you Watt you Watt” who turned in a great performance for the Shire boys tonight …Up front scoring a scorcher of a goal and back in defence thundering into would be attackers leaving them dazed ! An all round stunning performance indeed..

In goal again Mark golden Golding was just short!!!…………

Nope sorry just short of pure brilliance, making that many great saves that it defied the laws of physics…his nickname may turn out to be a very Russian name indeed as there was one disallowed corner (bad sportsman like play indeed from the evil opposition, taken a good five miles from the corner spot) that careered “Inov the Arse!”.

One other highlight of the game was the South African influence on the game, ( some of whom are more accustomed to the oval rugby ball),with Super Sub Molefi scoring with the first touch of the ball in the second half and “Dawie the Dangerous” turning in a sound performance in defence where he was seen to literally throw himself at the attacker…(the rugby influence shining through , where the ball seemed to be unimportant) but the end result was that many attacks were seriously cut short or deflected away from Grabbing Golding in goal.

Big Ben again managed to plough his way through the defence and once again is proving to be a very smart signing, as is the talented youngster “Jeremy the Weasel Hall” who ran himself into the ground tonight playing every position possible in his sneaky, sleekit style of play that leaves the opposition for dead, or at least wondering what just flashed by.

Lets not overlook Wee Macca who again used his scoop to good effect until instructed not to by Player Manager” Paper Doyley” who fresh from his exploits playing Spanish style fitba preferred the pass to the lob ! Good move or not, well we will see in future games.

The only other high or low point worth mentioning was that Misfit Meikle finally scored a goal….yes an own goal it must be said , but his first goal ….and did it in style indeed !!! “The keeper never stood a chance!” Meikle was heard to boast later following a few beers!!

All in all a brilliant performance frae “the wee free men frae the Shire!!’

Onwards and upwards is the rallying call for the next game. (As we canny get any lower).